


Something new will begin

by M_Carpe_Noctem



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2019-10-27 03:56:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17759324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M_Carpe_Noctem/pseuds/M_Carpe_Noctem
Summary: AU taking place after 5x08, Liz ended up in a coma because of a car accident, Tom died. No DNA test, no suitcase/duffel bag.





	1. Chapter 1

Liz fell to the ground, swore and threw her walking cane away from her. Ressler, who went to the kitchen with her to get more drinks tried to help her up but she refused his help, strongly pushing his hand away from her. 

“Come on, Liz… Remember when I was shot in the leg? I fell down a couple of times, there is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Just go.” She snapped then she whispered. “Please.”

Her work partner walked out of the kitchen, knowing arguing with her would never work. He believed she would punch him if he tried to get her up. He also knew who could help her.

“Reddington, you should go to the kitchen.” Ressler announced as he came back in the living room.

He put the little girl who was on his lap next to Aram. “I’ll be right back, Agnes.” 

As soon as he entered the kitchen she became alert. “Don’t let her come in here, please, Red. I don’t want her to see me like that, please.”

He closed the door and squatted down. “Did you hurt yourself?”

“I wish I had.” 

Red grimaced at the cold tone of her voice. 

He extended his arm to grab the cane which was under the table, once he got it, he placed it next to him on the floor. 

“Do you want me to tell them to go?”

“No.”

“All right.”

He didn’t pressure her. He stayed close to her, gently stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. 

After a few minutes, she put her arm around his shoulder and he was ready to put his around her waist but she stopped him.

“It’s fine, Red.”

“Ready?” 

“Yeah.” 

He stood up and she followed his movement, pushing hard to get up. She held on to him for a short moment before he handed her the cane. 

“No dizziness?”

“I’m fine. I had a cramp and I tripped.”

 

“Where’s mommy?” 

“She’s napping on the couch. And…” He checked his watch. “I think you can go wake her up.”

“She’s very sad today.”

“Yeah… It has been a tiring week for her.”

She nodded and took Red’s hand as they walked to the living room, he let go of her little hand when they reached the door-frame, not wanting to intrude this mother-daughter moment. 

Agnes caressed her mom’s hair and kissed her cheek. “Mommy?”

Liz opened her eyes, a tired smile on her face and put her hands around her daughter and laboriously lifted her so she could be on the couch, lying on her side. They hugged and stayed silent for a long moment. 

“You give me so much strength. I love you.”

“I love you, too, mommy.”

She pressed her lips on her forehead and noticed Red looking at them, then she looked around the room. He cleaned everything. And she could definitely smell something tasty was cooking. 

Red has been her rock. She didn’t even have to tell him when it was a bit too much for her to deal with, he always knew. At first, it frustrated her that he did all that, the cleaning, the cooking, the babysitting, but after a couple of weeks, she welcomed it.

“There’s lasagna in the oven, whenever you want to eat, just reheat them.” He said as he was putting his jacket on. 

“Do you have to go somewhere?” She asked.

“No.”

“You could stay. If you want to.”

“I would love to, thank you.”

 

"She's sleeping."

"She made you read all the book, didn't she?"

He sat at the right end side of the couch. "As usual. Always happy to oblige."

“I… I don’t say it enough but thank you, Red. For everything you did and still do.”

He could hear her voice cracking, she was exhausted, she pushed herself too hard in physical therapy this week and it impacted her mental health as well. 

“Come here.” He whispered, sliding toward her on the couch. He put his arm around her shoulder, bringing her closer. “How about a few days away? I have the perfect cabin in the middle of nowhere.”

“Would you go with us?”

“If you want me to.”

“I do.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Is the water good?” She asked, as he came out of the shower after his morning swim in the small lake near the cabin.

“A bit chilly because I was early but we have a hot day ahead so it will be just warm enough. Interested in taking a dip?” He inquired as he poured a cup of coffee.

“Maybe another time. I'm not feeling that comfortable yet." She said, eying the cane next to her. 

“Is Agnes sleeping?”

“Yes. Last night, she told me about everything she saw during your little stroll around. She went on and on over ten minutes about the rabbits, at least I got that it was about them, I didn’t understand all the words she was making up. I think you have a terrible influence on her.” 

He looked up and saw her smirk, it was the first time he witnessed this since the accident. He smirked back at her. 

“I hope you can forgive me.” He declared, humor in his voice.

“If you make me a second toast, maybe I will.”

And she has a better appetite, too. His heart swelled with happiness. 

“With pleasure, I wouldn’t want you to be mad at me all day.” He winked and put the piece of bread in the toaster. 

“I watched you swim. You are a great swimmer.”

“Thank you.” 

“The swimming shirt is for hiding scars.” She stated knowing she was right.

He took a sip of his coffee and slightly nodded. 

“Recent ones?”

“I think you know the answer to that, Lizzy.”

“Are they… Burn scars?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t have to hide them...”

“There are quite gruesome.”

“Morning, mommy, Ray.” Agnes said as she entered the kitchen, rubbing her eyes.

“Hey, sweetie.” Liz put her on her laps and kissed her cheek several times. “Did you sleep well?”

“Huh huh. I’m hungry.”

“Would you like some crêpes?”

“What is it?”

“It’s like a thin, better tasting, pancake. You can add jam or melted chocolate on it.”

“Okay. I can try one with chocolate.”

 

For a good part of the morning, Liz tried to properly walk without her cane. As always, her progress were taking too long to her taste. Red, as usual, could notice when her temper was about to make an unpleasant entrance.

“Don’t beat yourself up, you did great, Lizzy. You’ll get better and better.”

“It’s taking so long.”

“I know it can get frustrating. Getting out of the chair was your biggest obstacle and you overcame it.” He squeezed her hand. “The rest will come.”

 

“Thank you, for occupying her, Dembe.”

“No worries, Elizabeth. How were the walking exercices?”

“They were... good. Getting there.”

“Mommy! Look, we finished the puzzle!”

“That’s great, honey. Do you want to do another one?”

“Yes!”

“I just have to take a quick shower then we’ll do another one and some drawings, maybe?”

 

Liz played with Agnes for over an hour, when she looked around and didn’t see Red.

“Dembe?”

“Yes?” He came in the living room, wiping his hands with a kitchen towel.

“Where’s Red?”

“He is outside, setting the table and roasting vegetables on the grill.” 

“Okay.”

She took her cane and got up from the couch. “I’m just going to check if Red needs some help.”

“Okay, mommy.”

Liz thought he looked perfect with those beige linen pants and a light blue shirt. She watched him cut and put the pieces of vegetable into a bowl containing the marinade. 

“Hey.”

He turned his head so he could see her. “Hey. You don’t mind eating outside?”

“Not at all.” She said, approaching him. “Smells great.”

“Thank you. It’s olive oil with a secret ingredient and blend of spices that a wonderful cook taught me in Spain. She said I was the first to learn it outside of the members of her family.”

“She couldn’t resist your charms, could she?”

He laughed. “She was ninety and would have been up for it!”

Liz shook her head, chuckling. “Do you need help?”

“I’m good, thank you.”

“I don’t feel like going back tomorrow. Could we stay longer?”

“Of course, we can.” 

“Agnes said she wants to draw all the trees she saw.”

“Ah yes, she’s already a meticulous artist.”

“How was she? When I was in the coma?” She suddenly asked.

He stopped what he was doing. “She was afraid of the tubes and machines you were hooked up to at first, but she got used to it. She was hopeful, all the time., telling me she was sure you would wake up.”

She bit her bottom lip. “What about you?”

He bowed his head. “My experience was more… nuanced. I would be hopeful, then helpless and so enraged, sorrowful.” He looked into her eyes. “But I never thought one second about…" He swallowed and took a deep breath. "I will never give up on you, Lizzy. I will always be there, no matter what.”

She felt tears forming in her eyes at his words and how thick with emotion is voice was. She threw her arms around his waist. He hugged her back in a second, pressing a lingering kiss on her temple. 

“No more betrayal on my behalf, no more doubting you. I promise, Red.” She fervently whispered.

 

They enjoyed their dinner in the perfect mix of warm temperature and a welcomed fresh breeze. 

“Dembe made the dessert tonight.” Red announced, pouring himself a glass of sparkling water.

“What did you make?” Liz asked.

“Baseema, it’s a traditional Sudanese cake.”

“I love cake!” Agnes exclaimed, putting her hands in the air.

“I share your enthusiasm, Agnes.” Red said, raising his glass, standing up and theatrically bowing his head, making the little girl laugh. 

 

Agnes has been sleeping for a little over an hour and Liz has been sitting outside since then. Red joined her and pointed at the lounger next to hers.

“Do you mind?”

“Not at all. We can never see the stars like this back in DC.”

“It’s a shame. Have you ever seen Northern Lights?”

“No.”

“It’s a magnificent spectacle. We’ll have to go someday.”

She nodded and looked up at the sky again. He watched the stars for a moment but his gaze was attracted to Liz. There was only a camping light set next to her but it was enough to illuminate her face. 

“You’re staring, Red.” She breathed.

“My eyes are often attracted by natural beauty.” 

He noticed the small smile forming on her lips. “I thought the same thing earlier, when I watched you preparing the vegetables. I could have observed you for hours.” He opened his mouth slightly but nothing came out. 

She yawned. 

“I suppose it’s time for me to go sleep.”

“Huh, yes.” He stood up. “Do you need help?”

“Nope, I’m good.” She got up quickly.

“Told you, better and better.”

They smiled as they walked back to the cabin.


	3. Chapter 3

“You can do it, mommy!” 

“I have faith in you as well, Elizabeth.”

“Thank you, honey. Thanks, Dembe.” She said as she put the cane on the couch.

Red planted his gaze into hers, squeezed her hands in silent encouragement and took a few steps backward.

Her first steps were a bit unsteady but she kept her focus and kept going. 

She did a complete tour of the living-room.

She put her arms around him. “I did it!” 

“Yes, you did, Lizzy.”

Agnes happily clapped her hands and jumped up and down. “Did it, mommy!”

“I hope you have some champagne in there, Red.”

“Oh, you bet I do.” 

He winked and went to open a kitchen cabinet and put a bottle in the fridge. When he turned around, there she was. 

“I know Dembe doesn’t drink alcohol so… Could we drink it later? Under the stars?”

“What a delightful idea.” 

 

“To you, Lizzy.” He declared, raising his glass.

“Thank you, Red.” She took a sip. “Oh, wow. That must be the best champagne I ever tasted.”

“I'm glad you like it. This is another significant victory in your recovery.”

“I snapped a lot, at you especially. You know I... Since I killed Connelly I feel like something clicked in my brain. I'm having... dark impulses. I've always had a bad temper. I was driving Dad crazy most of the time.”

He chuckled. “He told me some stories...”

She shook her head, amused for a moment. “Oh, God.”

“Do you feel a need to kill?”

“It's not that strong, no.”

“Does it scare you?”

“Agnes is a positive force, I focus on her and on what kind of example I want to be.”

“That's good. You are a good mother, Lizzy. And a good agent, too. Like I told you some time ago, I don't see the world in all black or all white. There are nuances.”

“Lines to cross for the greater good.”

“Exactly.”

 

“I can’t have an orgasm.” Liz looked down at her hands resting on her knees.

“How long have you been trying?” Asked her physical therapist.

“I tried several times, different ways but I can’t.”

“Your last physical exam was really good, I think it’s more on the psychological side. Do you feel something or nothing?”

“It feels... okay, but I can’t come.” 

Red stopped in his tracks, he was there to pick up Lizzy after her checkup because her car was being repaired. The two women were alone in the gym, they didn’t feel the need to close the doors. He knew he should turn around. 

“Do you think about Tom?”

“At first, yes and I thought that was the problem. But I watched… some… videos and used a vibrator without thinking about him and it’s the same.”

Red turned around and walked back, he couldn’t listen to more. It wasn’t fair to Liz and simply not his place. 

“Do you feel like trying to meet someone new?”

“I don’t know.”

“What about Kenneth?”

“What about him?” 

“Well, you seem really close.”

“He’s my best friend. And it would be complicated.”

“So you do have feelings for him?” Did she have feelings for Red? Was she really ready to say it out loud? She shrugged. “Is it the age gap?”

“If only...” 

Red walked near the door again, thinking they would have finished by now.

“Look, don’t over-think. Go out with someone, dance with a stranger, see how it feels. You’ve been putting all your strength and mind into getting better and taking care of your daughter, all this while grieving. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel like a woman again.”

He knocked on the door. “I can come back later?”

“No, it’s all right, K. We can go. Goodnight, Dr. Nguyen and thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. Goodnight, Elizabeth, Kenneth.”

 

“I think I can go back to work soon.” She said as they stopped at a red light.

“That’s good, I look forward to talking with you again. Not that I don’t appreciate Agent Navabi’s presence...”

She pushed her jealousy aside. “Aram had such hope being your link to the task force.”

He let out a breathy chuckle. “Aren’t they an interesting couple?”

“They’re cute. He’s sweet. Are you staying for dinner?”

“No, I’m flying to Cuba in an hour.”

“Okay.”

“Any plan for the weekend?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go out with Samar on Saturday night.” She observed him attentively, but his face revealed nothing.

“If you wish to, you can go to the new spa, the one you stopped by earlier. Just say your name at the reception. To celebrate the end of your physical therapy.”

“Always so thoughtful, Red.” She offered him a sweet smile that made him feel a delicious, tingly feeling. 

 

“Good evening.” He was tall, light brown hair, seemed a bit younger than her. “I’m Nathan.” He held out his hand.

She shook it. “Elizabeth. This is my friend, Samar.” 

“Nice to meet you. Can I buy you a drink?” 

“I have what I need thank you.”

“What about a dance?”

Liz looked at Samar who nodded. “All right.”

They walked to the dance floor. 

“So, Elizabeth, what do you do?”

“I’m an FBI agent.”

“Oh, wow. Never had this answer before. I better behave.”

“You better behave with all women.”

“I do. I think I’m a decent guy.”

“And what do you do?”

“I’m an architect. You’re tensed, we can just sit and talk if you prefer.”

“I’m fine. It’s… been a long time.”

“I know the feeling. She broke up with me three months ago. I’ve been coming here for three Saturdays now.”

“Any luck?”

“I’m feeling really lucky right now.” He smiled at her. “Your eyes are incredible… I noticed them right away when you came in with your friend.”

“Thank you.”

She went back to the bar fifteen minutes later after one more dance and a chat with him.

“So?”

Liz shrugged. “He gave me his number.”

“He’s handsome, is there something on the inside as well?”

“He seems genuine. He was polite and respectful, particularly straightforward though. How’s Aram?”

“Oh, he wanted to go with me.”

Liz chuckled. “He’s a good guy.”

“He is. I’m lucky. Are you looking for something serious?”

“I don’t know… Not really. Thank you for coming with me.”

“You’re welcome, Liz. It’s okay if you’re only looking for a one-night stand.”

“I haven’t done that since college.”

“Do whatever feels right to you. Nathan is walking over there.”

“Hey, I’m going home. I live three blocks from here, wanna join me?”

“No.”

“Okay. Well, you have my number if you want to see me again. Have a nice night.” He offered her a beautiful smile and left the bar. 

“Do you want to stay here or go somewhere else?” Samar asked.

“We can stay.”

“Your skin is glowing.”

“Ah, yes. I was at a spa this afternoon. Now that I’m done with PT.”

“I need that, I haven’t been for ages. It’s wonderful to see how far you’ve come.”

Liz bowed her head for a moment. “I couldn’t have done it without him. You guys helped me, too, of course”

Samar nodded. “No worries, I knew what you meant. Is he with Agnes?”

“No.” She took a sip of her martini “He’s out of the country. How has it been, being the one he talks to?”

“The man is never boring.”

Liz laughed. “Accurate!” 

“Are you coming back soon?”

“Yes. Two or three weeks.”

“I’m glad, I want to slap Ressler so bad sometimes.”

 

Liz doesn’t know why she was hesitating to call him. He’s been leaving more lately, gradually, but it feels like he’s not coming back. She thought about him almost all evening, felt nothing when she danced with Nathan but she experiences intense physical and emotional reactions when Red gently put his hand on her back, kisses her temple, caressed her knuckles, when he looks at her, the list goes on… 

“Good evening, Lizzy, is everything all right?”

“Hey… I just came home.”

“Did you enjoy your evening?”

“It was okay. Being with Samar outside of work was nice. The spa was fantastic.”

“I’m glad to hear it, sweetheart.”

“Are you okay?”

“I am, the meetings were very fruitful. I’ll be back tomorrow, with some treats for you two, of course.”

She exhaled slowly. “Red?”

“Yes?”

“I would like to take you out. To thank you for everything, to celebrate the end of PT. What do you say?”

“I would be honored.”

“Great. I know you are not used to it but I’ll take care of everything and don’t think about paying for anything, okay?”

“As you wish, Lizzy.”

“Is Wednesday good for you?”

“Yes. Just let Dembe know where we’ll be heading...”

“Yeah, sure.” 

“How should I dress?”

“Classy casual. I’ll pick you up at seven. I… I’m excited, I hope you’ll have a good time.”

“Oh, Lizzy, I’m sure I will.”

 

He’s wearing dark jeans, a white shirt with a suit jacket. She opted for a black dress, not too short, not too long, no heals because she doesn’t want to put too much pressure on her body.

“Lizzy… Looking marvelous.”

“Thanks.” She put a strand of hair behind her ear. “You look handsome.”

“Thank you.” They got inside the car. “So… Where are we going?”

“To my favorite Italian restaurant.” She answered, starting the engine.

 

They ride in a comfortable silence, Red tried not to stare at her all the time but he found hard to do so. It has been over a year since he saw her like that, dressed up and wearing make-up. He was so proud, joyful and grateful that he could witness this. She was so strong. He was in awe of her. 

“You're staring again, Red.” She said, glee clear in her voice.

“You are…” He swallowed, incapable of finding his words. It was getting harder to be subtle regarding his overwhelming feelings for her. “Making me speechless.”

“I’m not that special, Red...” She said, her tone neutral.

“You are, Lizzy.”

They had a brief walk to get to the restaurant. She linked her arm through his as they walked on the sidewalk. 

 

“What’s your favorite delicacy on the menu?” He asked, pouring her a glass of wine.

“I love the arancini. I could eat a dozen of those. Pasta alla Norma are delicious, too. All the risottos.”

He had never seen her so excited about food. “All right.” He smiled.

“They make their own gelato, but we’re not there yet.” 

“We’re not. Let’s take our sweet time, what do you say?”

“I’m in.” She offered him a bright smile, showing her lovely dimples. 

And they did. They were eating their desserts in an empty restaurant. They both shared stories they haven’t told before. Sometimes, they didn’t share a word but looks which say it all. She touched his hand several times. Liz paid for everything but he insisted on leaving a generous tip, she didn’t argue. 

She parked in front of her building. 

“Thank you for taking me to this little gem, Lizzy. I’ll definitely go back.”

“You’re welcome. Come up with me?”

“Sure.”

She knew Dembe was parked near her car, Red quickly strolled toward the Mercedes and told his friend a few words. 

 

“Hello, Rosa. Was everything all right?”

“Yes, Liz. She ate well and has been asleep for three hours now.”

“Perfect, thank you. Have a good night.”

Red took off his jacket as Liz was walking toward her wireless speaker. She put on slow music at a low volume, not wanting to disturb her little girl. 

She turned around and extended her arm in his direction. “Dance with me?”

He took the few steps that were separating them and stood close to her. “With pleasure.”

As they swayed gently, with almost no space between their bodies, she knew why she felt nothing with Nathan the other night. Because he wasn’t Red. She knew it already but refused to admit it to herself… She let her hand slide from his shoulder to his neck, her thumb stroking his skin. She felt him tense but he kept moving. 

They danced for over ten minutes, she had closed her eyes, head on his shoulder, surrounded by his scent and warmth. 

He has been making a mental list of all the reasons he should leave right now, why he shouldn’t let her get this close… But at the same time, he was powerless and wanted to keep her in his arms all night long. He pressed a feather like kiss on her temple and gave himself a warning, one more song and then, he will go. 

The song was ending. He gently put his hands on her hips and took a step back. 

“Lizzy...” He murmured. “I should go.”

She opened her eyes and nodded, her hands squeezing his upper arms briefly before letting go.

Liz walked with him to the door handing him his jacket. “Thank you for a wonderful evening.” 

She kissed his cheek. “Goodnight, Red.”

“Sweet dreams, Lizzy.”

 

“Are you all right, Raymond?”

“It’s getting more and more complex...”

Dembe knew what he was referring to. “It’s difficult because you’re going against your heart’s desires. Because you’re punishing yourself.”

“She’s changing, her interactions with me are taking a new turn. Well, maybe not new but… bolder, more intimate.”

“You know what I think, brother. You should embrace it, not fight it.”

“I don’t deserve it.” He shook his head and drank two glasses of Scotch in a row.

“I disagree. I'm aware that it’s useless to argue now but you were right when you told me she could be your second chance. Seize this chance, Raymond. You’ve punished yourself long enough.”

 

Liz has been in the shower for a moment, enjoying the pressure from the hot water on her body. She felt so at peace tonight. Felt like floating when they’ve danced. She closed her eyes, wishing he was just behind her, pressing his body against her, whispering words of love into her ear, caressing her skin…

She sighed and stepped out of the shower, quickly drying herself with a fluffy towel and putting her pajamas. 

She reached her first orgasm in a long time that night, his name on her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for the kudos :)


	4. Chapter 4

“You’re leaving?”

“Temporary, yes.”

“How long?”

“Two weeks minimum.”

“Is everything all right?”

“I have postponed numerous face-to-face meetings for over a year, I have to do a little tour around South Asia and Europe.”

“Okay. You don’ lie to me, right?”

“I do not lie to you.”

“Why are you leaving now, after our evening together?”

“I need some time away to think. And I really need to check my operations over there.”

“You’re not thinking about leaving definitively? Because I want you here with us.”

“I am not. I’ll come back.”

She sighed. “Be careful.”

 

She heard her phone vibrating on her nightstand, she turned around, eyes closed, patting the surface to find it. 

“Yes?”

“Lizzy.”

She suddenly sat up. “Red, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m in front of your apartment's door. I didn’t want to wake up Agnes.”

“I’ll be right there.”

She put on her robe and walked to the door. There he is after two weeks and a half away, holding a brown paper bag, she knew whatever was in it would be fantastic. 

“I thought you should have a good breakfast before your different evaluations for reinstatement.”

“How did you know? Never mind. Come in.”

He took off his hat and sat down as she prepared two cups of coffee. “How are you feeling?”

“Confident.”

“Good.”

“I'm going to the gun range first.” She looked at the muffins he put on the table and picked one and moaned in delight after her first bite. “So good. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You look tired.”

He nodded, sipping his coffee. “Long days, agitated flights.”

“Do you want to stay with Agnes today?”

“I have meetings. But I could cook dinner for you tonight?”

“Sure. We’ll have that talk. But now, I’m going to get ready.”

“Lizzy...”

“Later, Red.”

 

“Daddy’s gonna help her get her badge again.”

“Oh yeah, anything for his bitch.”

She clenched her fists, the instructor was still there and she couldn’t lose her temper on these two assholes. She walked into the locker room, ignoring them both. She retrieved her jacket, slipped it on and left. 

 

It was around seven when she got home. The smell in the air was divine. Agnes ran to her.

“Hello, mommy!”

“Hello, baby. How was your day?”

“It was good. Ray and I are playing chess against uncle Dembe!” She ran back to him who put her on his lap and told her which piece to move on the board. Liz approached them and sat next to Red.

“Hey, guys.”

“Good evening, Lizzy.”

“Elizabeth, how did your evaluations go?” Dembe asked.

“It went well, I think. Could we eat?”

“It’s your home, you don’t have to ask. We can continue later.”

She briefly squeezed his hand before getting up, “I’m going to take a shower first.”

“As you wish.”

He frowned as he watched her exit the living room, she seemed agitated.

“I’ll be right back Dembe, Agnes.”

He found her in her bedroom, looking into her closet for a change of clothes.

He leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. “Lizzy, is there something you wish to discuss, did something bad happened?”

“Nothing, it’s not worth talking about.”

“And yet, it seems to upset you.”

“Just bastards talking behind my back.”

“About us.”

“Yes. Nothing new.” She shook her head. 

He studied her a moment then walked in front of her. “Having dark impulses?”

She nodded. “Yeah.” 

She bent her head so it could rest on his shoulder. He responded to her silent request and put his arm around her. 

“They don’t matter. Their insults, their gossips, it won’t change a thing between us. Our relationship is our business only. We’re okay, Lizzy.”

“Are we? Then why did you leave me right after we went out? It wasn’t a coincidence.”

“You’re right. It wasn’t.”

“You need to stay after dinner. But now, I really should go shower and we should eat, it’s almost Agnes’ bedtime.”

“All right.”

 

“Baby, when I’ll go back to work, you’ll go to the daycare center we visited. You’ll make friends and do a bunch of activities. It'll be fun. So what kind of story do you want to hear tonight?” 

Liz read to her until she fell asleep twenty minutes later. She softly kissed her daughter’s cheek and gently closed the door. 

 

He was sitting on the sofa, his eyes closed. She bit her bottom lip. “Red?”

He immediately opened his eyes and looked and her intensely and patted the spot next to him.

“Where did Dembe go?”

“I told him he could wait for me in the car.”

“She sat down next to him. She put her hand on his. "We shouldn’t deny it any longer. What we feel for each other, what we want. What do you want, Red?”

He opened his mouth a couple of times, but no words came out, he then bowed and shook his head. She sighed but didn’t get upset.

“I wish you would be more open with me. About everything. Is there a woman you are in a relationship with?”

“No.” He looked up at her. “She would be at risk... and so would be her... children.”

“What if she willing to take that risk? What if she trusts her ability and yours to keep her child safe?”

“Lizzy… You’ve seen how my life can be.”

“I’m an FBI agent, Red, my daughter could be a target even without you being in our life.”

“Even so.”

“I think that’s just a small part of why you don’t want more from this. I know I’ve been… cruel to you sometimes… But I’m no longer denying this, Red. I want you, I need you. I love you.”

She took his hand, caressing his palm with her thumb. “Can you at least hold me?”

He put his arm around her shoulders and got closer. “Always.”

She got comfortable against him, putting her arm around his waist, her head on his shoulder.

“There’s only you, Lizzy. I haven’t been with a woman since the mess with Berlin. Even before that it was just… physical. There won’t be anyone else. I’m not asking you to do the same thing. You’re young, brilliant with an incomparable spirit and so beautiful, you can build a new family.”

“No, I want no one else.”

“Lizzy, please…”

“Oh, come on, you know it doesn’t work like that. I met a man the other night and I felt nothing. What you make me feel, Red… It’s not something I can switch off and push aside anymore.”

He didn’t reply but was still holding her tightly against him. She could feel his hand shaking under hers. Liz could feel how conflicted and how moved he was by her declaration. Red was looking down at their hands on his thigh. Liz gently planted a lingering kiss on his cheek. 

“Thank you for another delicious dinner.” She whispered into his ear.

“It’s a pleasure to cook for you.”

“Are you ever going to look at me again?” She said lightly, trying to use humor to get him back from wherever his mind was.

After a moment, he straightened his head and look into her gorgeous, curious blue eyes. “There you are.” 

He couldn’t help but offering her a small smile. He then lovingly brought her hand to his lips and pressed a sweet, brief kiss on her knuckles. 

He drank the sight of her a few more seconds before getting up. “Have a good night, Lizzy.”

She knew he wouldn’t stay the night, not yet, even if only to share a bed without having sex. She took a deep breath. She would need to be patient even if it wasn’t her forte. 

“You too, Red.”

 

“She… She loves me, Dembe.” He said, finding hard to believe everything that just happened was real.

“I think you should tell her your secret, Raymond. Then you could have what your heart desires and please, brother, don’t repeat to me why you shouldn’t.”

“I’m scared of how she’ll react.”

“Honesty is what she wants from you, even if she gets angry, I believe it will be temporary.”

 

“Hey, did you get home safely?”

“I did. I’m reading in bed.”

“Oh, I don’t want to bother you.”

“You never do, Lizzy. What are you doing?”

“I just finished my nightly stretching routine.”

“Good. Regarding what you told me tonight...”

“Yes?” 

“There is something I have to tell you and I’m…” He sighed. “Worried about your reaction.”

“But I need to know, Red. I want you to tell me.”

“To me, it’s a secret, but it will definitely feel like a lie to you. It will have to remain a secret, no matter what. Only Dembe knows. Kate did, too.”

“You can trust me, I promise you. I want nothing bad to happen to you.”

“I will need some time...”

“All right"

 

“Do you remember our first meeting at the blacksite?”

“How could I ever forget it? You made quite an impression.”

“Do you recall what I said?”

“Agent Keen, what a pleasure.” She tried to imitate his voice.

If what he was about to tell her, he would have laughed. “What else?”

“That you were a criminal, that criminals are notorious liars... Everything about you was a lie.”

He intensely looked at her, he put his hand over hers. Her lips parted, but no words came out. 

“I was telling the truth, Lizzy...”

“Not you, too!” Understanding what he meant, she violently pushed his hand away. “My God!”

Red took a deep breath, knowing a multitude of angry words and accusations were about to hit him. But nothing came. She was pacing around the living room for a moment then she was in front of him again. 

Then her hand painfully made contact with his cheek. 

“Why the hell didn't you tell me?! Especially after what I went through with Tom?”

“I... I don't know what to say.”

“Get out.”

“Do I need to get on my jet and disappear?”

“I won't tell anyone, but I can't be with you, just leave.”

 

For over three weeks, they don't talk unless it's for work and don't see each other outside of the blackiste. He tried hard to mask his pain, but it was clear in her eyes that he was suffering. All the passion in eyes vanished, he stated facts without adding something witty or one of his stories. 

Liz was suffering, too. She felt betrayed. Once the flaring anger faltered, she began to miss him terribly. Each time she tried to remember bad things he did but the good actions always remained stronger. He has been so selfless. 

He truly loved her. She loved him, too. 

She looked at the war room from her office and saw Red chatting with Aram. He looked so tired. Dembe made eye contact with her and he then said a few words to Red who looked worried for a moment.

Dembe knocked on the open door of her office.

“Come in.”

“Elizabeth, would you mind going outside with me? I wish to talk with you.”

 

“I asked him many times to tell you the truth. He refused, in part because he knew how you would react. And it paralyzed him. When you faked your death, I thought I would lose him. After he went to that opium den, I didn't know where he was or what he did.”

“He went to an opium den?”

“Yes. He couldn't live without you, Elizabeth. Not anymore. He fell in love with you. I am not saying this to make you feel guilty, it is simply the truth. Raymond isn't using you, what he feels is pure and he wants you to be safe and happy. He won't tell you about the past because he wants to protect you. Maybe one day he will. But what he told you is the biggest part of the puzzle and I believe now you can build something else with him.”

“I... can't Dembe, not yet.”

He nodded. “I understand.”

“You can tell him that I need more time.”

 

“Dembe, hi, it's Liz.”

“Hello, Elizabeth. Is there a problem?”

“Agnes wants to see Reddington. Could you give him the phone, please?”

“Elizabeth?”

“Could you come over while I go on my run? Agnes has been asking for days if she could see you.”

“I would love to see her. I can be there in thirty minutes.”

“All right.”

As soon as Liz opened the door, the little girl ran to Red.

“Ray!” He picked her up in his arms. “I missed you!”

“I missed you too, Agnes.” 

“I'll be back in around an hour.” 

Red nodded and watched her leave the apartment. 

When she came back, she found Red and Agnes napping on the armchair, her daughter safely held by Red's arm. 

Dembe was reading on the couch. It felt so familiar, it felt comforting.

Red slowly opened his eyes. He was ready to get up but Liz stopped him.

“Don't move, I'm going to take a shower then if you have the time... I want to talk.”

“I do.”

 

“You are Red. The man who helped me on the run, who saved me from a burning house, who saved my little girl. The man who is helping me to catch criminals, who stayed by my side for a year while I was in a coma, who helped me when I was at my worst. The man who would do anything for me. The man I fell in love with.”

She brushed away the silent tears on his cheeks with her thumbs and beamed at him, wiggling her eyebrows. “The man who’s gonna cook dinner once again?”

He laughed as she has never heard him laugh before. “Yes! I’m in a mood for Indian food, sounds good to you?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to go and buy the ingredients I need with Dembe, we shouldn’t take too long.”

“Dembe can stay for dinner if he wants to. Take a change of clothes as well. I would love it if you could spend the night here.”

“Noted.”

 

“The smell in here makes my mouth waters!” She approached him and stood by his side. “What’s in the other saucepan?”

“A kid-friendly curry. Much less spicy than how the three of us like it.”

“She’s been eating much more diverse food since you started to cook for us. Thank you for that, I suck in that department.”

“My pleasure.”

“I saw the bag in my room. I'm glad you decided to stay for the night.” 

“I can't believe this is happening...”

“I get that it's complicated for you.” She gently rubbed his back. “And as you said, we'll take it slow.”

“Yes.”

“Everything will be okay, Red.”

“I hope so.”

He was so tensed, she knew she would also be a little nervous when the time comes to be together in her bed but it wasn't overwhelming.

“I let you finish, I'm going to help Agnes shower. She absolutely wants to do it alone lately but she makes such a mess!”

“Lizzy!” She turned around. “I apologize, I'm distracted, but this is the most beautiful thing that could happen to me.”

“Same here. And Red, you can touch me whenever you like now.” She winked and left the kitchen.

 

After dinner, Liz guided him to her bedroom, quietly shutting the door. Inside, she wrapped her arms tightly around him. Red immediately looped his arms around her and dropped a multitude of kisses on her hair. 

She unbuttoned his vest and shirt before sliding her hands toward his belt. 

"Lizzy..."

"You're overdressed to sleep. Relax, Red."

"You make it incredibly hard to... Pun intended."

"We are sharing a bed, it's not the first time."

"It was a couch we shared and because you fell asleep, twice. I would say the situation here is a bit different. God, you're so..." He ran his fingers through her hair. "May I help you get out of your clothes as well?"

She smiled. "I thought you'd never ask."

He took his time to undress her, leaving her only with her panties and bra. After gazing at her body for a moment he asked her with a husky voice. "May I... kiss your neck?"

"Yeah..." She said, sounding breathless.

"Now, relax, Lizzy."

"Ha ha ha."

Her fake laughing transformed into a deep moan as his lips made contact with her skin. She grabbed his undershirt harder, pulling him closer to her body. 

"My heart, my life..." He murmured against her ear and pressed his lips on her cheek, then at the corner of her mouth, letting them linger there. 

She shifted her head a little and met his soft lips. Their first kiss. She heard him exhale through his nose. Their lips found each other a few times, not trying to deepen the kiss, just savor the new sensations.

She stopped and caressed his chest, "I'll be right back."

 

She came back five minutes later with a black tank top on. And before getting in bed, she made a series of stretching exercises. Red watched her with pride, compassion and love. 

"You are absolutely magnificent, do you know that? Not only your beauty but your brilliant mind and courage as well."

"Thank you. And what about my temper?" 

"Oh, it can be arousing, too, in its own way." 

She shook her head with amusement. "Oh, God." 

But then she looked at up, sitting on her new bed and realized that she will, from now on, share her bed with someone else than Tom. And she was happy that her relationship with Red was evolving this way but at that moment, she couldn't help but think about her late husband.

He has seen it, of course he did. "If you wish, I could sleep on the couch?"

"No, no, it's fine. It's more than fine. I want you here. It's just that I haven't shared my bed with someone else than him for so long..."

"I understand." He offered her a reassuring smile.

She climbed on the bed next to him, he naturally wrapped a strong arm around her, gently guiding her to rest her head on his chest. 

"Okay?"

“Okay. It feels so right, doesn't it, Red?”

“It does.”


	5. Chapter 5

He woke up around six a.m, he felt Liz pressed against his back, her arm around him. He smoothly turned around and looked at her. 

How he loved her. 

Coming from the other bedroom, he heard Agnes calling her mother. He got up, put on his pants and t-shirt and exited the room quietly, closing the door behind him.

"Hello, precious girl."

"Ray!"

"Are you okay?"

"I want mommy."

"Mommy is sleeping right now." He sat down on the floor, in front of her. The little girl sat up and looked at him.

"I'm hungry."

"Ah, well then I suppose I shall prepare your breakfast." 

She rubbed her eyes and nodded, naturally putting her arms around his neck.

In the kitchen, Red let her sat on her usual chair. "What would you like today, Agnes? Waffles? Fruits? Toasts?"

"Cheerios. Please, Ray."

"All right." 

"And fruits, too."

Now, that was a good surprise. "Wonderful choice, mademoiselle."

He heard the little girl giggle behind him. "Funny word."

"It's French. Can you say it back?" He asked as he placed her bowl of cereals in front of her. 

"Thank you. Made...selle."

"Almost, and you're welcome." He cut some fresh fruits and began to prepare his and Lizzy's breakfast. 

"Ray?"

"Yes?"

"Will you stay today?"

"I think I will."

"Will we play with mommy and will you teach me new words?"

"If you wish to."

"Yes! It's fun, daddy!"

He froze for a few seconds. He put down the bowl he was using for his French toast preparation and turned around to look at her once again, hoping she wouldn't notice his reaction.

"Agnes, I am not..."

Liz entered the room. "Mommy! Good morning!" She ran to her mother, Liz picked her up and kissed her cheek several times before holding her tight. 

"Hello, sweetie, did you sleep well?"

"Yes!"

"Are you all right, Red?"

He watched Agnes focused on her cereals, he got closer to Liz and whispered into her ear, "she just called me daddy."

She squatted down and looked her daughter in the eyes, "Angel, you know Red isn't your father."

"But he's almost always there with us. We play and he tells me new words and read to me and so much more things."

"I know that but...." Sam did all that with her as well and she considered him as her father.

Red knew what she was thinking, "Lizzy... It's not the same." He whispered.

She looked up at him. "But she's right. Tom isn't here anymore. You are."

"It's complicated. If I ever have to go..."

"Let's just stick with Ray, okay, sweetie?"

The little girl pouted. "...Okay."

Red cleared his throat, "French toasts, Lizzy?"

"Yes, please. Have you two been up for long?"

"No longer than half an hour."

 

He extended his arm behind her on the couch and scooted closer, quickly glanced at Agnes who was on the rug, drawing and not paying at all attention to them, so he gently stroked the nape of her neck with his thumb, touched her hair. She leaned into his loving touch, her hand cupping his cheek. 

He pressed a kiss to her palm.

"Stay again tonight?" She asked.

"With pleasure."

Liz gave him a peck on the mouth. 

She joined her daughter on the floor, drawing with her and talk about the different colors and what they could be used for. Agnes was, most of the time, eager to learn new things. 

He observed them, as he often did, storing precious memories into his brain. 

"Red?"

"Yes, Lizzy?"

"Should we order food or are you taking care of it?"

He offered a soft smile as he stood up. "I'll make something."

"Pasta! Pasta! And tomato sauce! Please, Ray! Best thing ever!" 

"I guess I'll make pasta then."

They both laughed at the little girl's enthusiasm. 

"Could we go to the park later, mommy? With Ray?"

"What do you think, Red?"

He nodded and picked up his phone to tell Dembe to check around the area to be sure it was safe for the three of them. 

"Yes, sweetie, we'll go. All of us."

"Yeah!" 

The three of them almost never go out together because it's a reminder of who they were and who they couldn't be out in public. Inside Liz's apartment, they could forget about it or at least ignore it a few hours. But Agnes asked them to go out together a lot lately, so once in a while, they say yes to make her happy. 

 

"Ray, Ray." The little girl extended her arms up toward him, so he could pick her up. She was tired after all her ruining around. He bent down and let her threw her arms around his neck. 

"Let's go home, Red."

"Yes." 

Agnes fell asleep in his arm so when they get back home, he gently put her in her bed for her afternoon nap. 

"She's exhausted."

"No wonder. I think she showed you everything in the park and what she loves to do. And she ran a lot." 

"That she did."

"She loves you so much. She watches you with such adoration. Thank you, for keeping her with you when I was in the coma. I couldn't... I couldn't imagine someone better for her than you. And uncle Dembe, of course."

Red kissed her brow twice before moving to the coffee machine. "Would you care for one?"

"Yes, please. And I wouldn't be against eating some of your apple pie."

"Our apple pie, sweetheart. You helped."

She snorted. "I cut the apples."

"It's an important step of the recipe and you did a marvelous job." 

He put their filled mugs on the coffee table and sat down on the couch. "I have to leave tomorrow."

"How long?"

"A few days."

"Lizzy?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you in pain?"

"It's nothing." She shrugged and put her hand where her shoulder was hurting. "It happens sometimes."

He frowned. "You have a headache as well." 

She nodded. "Red, please, don't worry. I know what's usual pain and what is not."

He extended his arm, his hand reaching behind her head, a light feather touch on where her atrocious wound were.

"Red. I'm here. I'm alive, with you and Agnes. We are a family. We are your family."

Liz straddled him, grabbed his face and kissed him passionately. The low growl Red made had her quivering.

She ground almost violently against his body, he put his hands on her waist, pressing her down even more to accentuate the delicious friction. Liz was wearing an over-sized t-shirt as pajamas and Red was in his boxer briefs and undershirt. Their underwears were the only thin barrier between their bodies. 

Red was hard under her, his hands wandering on her heated skin, he slipped his hands under her top, unable to resist his need, their need, for more contact. 

"Red... I'm going to come..." She said, her voice hoarse, hand gripping the back of his neck. "I... It's been so long..."

"It's all right, don't hold back... I got you, Lizzy." 

She came silently, but all of her body trembled. He held her tight against him and followed her after a few more powerful, erratic thrusts against her burning, covered flesh. 

They didn't speak for some minutes, there is only the sound of their panting breath and the feeling of each other's rapid heartbeats. 

He heard her chuckled, he kissed her hair a couple of times. "Yyou're okay there, Lizzy?"

"Yeah. I never thought I would be dry humping with you. But damn, that was... hot and felt amazing."

"It was."

"We should... go to the bathroom for a quick clean up, though."

"I agree."

After they changed and get clean, she splashed some cold water on her face. Liz felt him embracing her from behind, his hands, once again under her top, his body pressed against hers. They both faced the mirror above the sink. She smiled, a big, genuine smile, showing off her lovely dimples, at their reflections. 

"I think we make a handsome couple, don't you think? The best team around."

"Mmm, I don't deserve you... But we do make a great team."

"You deserve all the love I want to give you, Red. No matter what you believe."

He simply put his lips on her neck, giving her a few loving pecks. "Ready for bed?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

 

Once in the bed, they gazed at each other.

"There goes that giggle again. Don't get me wrong, it's music to my ears but, what, if I may ask, is the reason for it?"

"I'm feeling good. My headache and shoulder pain are gone. We experienced our first orgasm together. I'm loved like I've never been loved, in the most intense and wonderful way. My daughter is peacefully sleeping in her bed."

He smiled tenderly at her. Enjoying how chatty she was tonight. Relieved that her pains are gone. 

"I'm extremely tactile, I'm certain you've noticed..."

"Huh huh. I'm good with it. I hated it sometimes in the past, but now, I love being the center of your attention."

"Always remember that there is no need for jealousy, Lizzy."

She made a grimace accompanied by a noise of disapproval. "Are you telling me this because your next meeting is with a woman?"

"No, just saying. Would you wish for more of what we did on the couch? Or anything else? You know you can ask me..." His gaze traveled across her body, "whatever you desire."

"Mmm, I'm good right now. But I take note." She said with a smirk.

"Good. You know I'm a man of my word."

"Oh, yes. I know."

He slowly stroked her cheek with the back of his index and forefinger. "And do you know how sensational you are?" He smiled at her. "Did I make you blush?"

"Shut it." He laughed and they kissed, a lot. 

"When do you have to leave?"

"Early in the morning."

"Where to?"

"China."

 

He checked his watch a few hours later, five thirty a.m. He got out of the bed as discretely as he could to not wake her up. He grabbed his clean three pieces suit and went to the bathroom to change. After that, he made his way to the kitchen, preparing coffee. 

Red looked around him, still having a hard time believing all this was really happening. He also felt a strange sensation in his heart as he eyed Agnes' toys on the rug of the living room. No, it wasn't like before. He could protect a family now, his family, more efficiently than in the past. Lizzy was trained to face menaces. 

They will be fine. 

Before leaving, he went to check on Agnes and then he opened Lizzy's bedroom door. She had her eyes slightly open.

"Hey."

"Good morning, Lizzy. Did I wake you?"

"No... Well, I suddenly missed your wonderful, comfortable body and warmth in the bed."

He patted his belly. "Yes, comfortable."

She chuckled at him and continued with a sleepy voice, her eyes closing. "I think your hot, like really hot. Make me weak at the knees kind of hot. You exude sex. And at the same time, you are cute, boyish even sometimes and a real dork. I love all the package."

"Why, that certainly made my morning."

"I'm glad. Now, be safe out there."

He kissed her cheek. "I will and be safe as well."


	6. Chapter 6

"Boxing?" Dembe asked.

"Yes."

"It's good, Raymond. I'm glad you want to work out again. And cutting out the alcohol and cigars is a wise decision."

"Just once a week or twice if the schedule permits it. I... I want to be with Lizzy and Agnes as long as I can, getting healthier is mandatory now."

"I understand, brother. I will help you."

"Thank you. I will probably be cantankerous from time to time."

"Oh, we've been there many times, haven't we?"

"Elizabeth loves you deeply. And you're still fit and strong. Don't worry too much, brother."

"I'm taking these decisions for my health and if I lose a few pounds in the process, it's a welcomed bonus."

 

"Red?"

"Hello, Lizzy. Dembe told me you called. Is everything all right?"

"Agnes wants to talk to you. I know we agreed that..."

"It's fine, pass her the phone."

"Here, pumpkin, it's Red."

"Ray?"

"Yes, Agnes, it's me. Are you all right?"

"I got... had a nightmare. I'm with mommy, in her big bed."

"I'm sorry to hear that you're upset. But being with mommy helps, right?"

"Yes. I wish you were there, too." 

She sniffled and he wished he could be there as well. "Do you want me to tell you a story?"

"Yes! Please!"

He made up a child appropriate story out of a true event he witnessed until he heard Lizzy's voice again. "She fell asleep."

"Good."

"I'm going to put her back in her bed, may I call you back in five minutes or are you too busy?"

"I'm not."

 

"I prefer to wait a day. Just a precaution in case somebody would follow me."

"Your security teams would notice... I told Agnes that you were on your way home, she's waiting for you now."

"You should have asked me first."

"Sorry I assumed you wanted to see us as soon as possible. Good night, Red."

"Lizzy..." But she had already hung up. He sighed heavily. "Dembe, To Elizabeth's, please. I don't want to upset Agnes. We will wait a moment in the car before going in."

"All right. I'm sure Elizabeth will be relieved to see you again, you've been gone for longer than planned. And you know her temper."

"I do."

Liz opened the door and Agnes ran to Red, he squatted down and opened his arms, she held on to him as tightly as she could. 

"Ray!" 

"Hello, precious Agnes. It's marvelous to see you again. How are you?"

"I'm good! You?"

"I'm pretty tired, but holding you in my arms is giving me strength."

Agnes giggled, kissed his cheek and rested her head against his shoulder. Red stood up and looked at Liz who was watching them from afar. He carefully approached her.

"Hello, Lizzy."

"Hey. Would like some coffee?"

"No, thank you. I'm probably going to take a nap soon."

"Like me, Ray! We could nap in the big bed together!"

"Not this time, angel, I have to go. I came to say hello."

"No, you just came home." She pouted.

"I'll be back tomorrow."

"To stay?"

He eyed Lizzy, who nodded. "For two nights, yes."

"Promise?"

"I promise. Now, go take your nap, all right?"

"Okay... Love you, Ray."

"I love you, too, Agnes."

He watched them walk to the girl's bedroom and waited for Liz. 

"I'll be back tomorrow night, with dinner."

"Okay. I'll see you then. Red... Thank you for coming." He nodded and put on his hat before walking to the door. "Red! Wait."

She grabbed his face with her hands and put her lips on his, hoping he would respond to her kiss. And he did. Looping an arm around her waist, his free hand cupping her cheek as he deepened their kiss.

"I didn't want to be so abrupt with you on the phone earlier..."

"It's fine."

"No, no it's not. I should have asked you first. My impatience got the best of me. Agnes was asking every ten minutes when you would be here since she woke up and I missed you."

"I missed you as well, I always miss you when we are apart, Lizzy."

"So tomorrow night?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

 

"Agnes, this is for you. A little present from my travels in China." He handed a neatly wrapped package. The little girl impatiently tore the paper to discover what was inside. "It's a rattle-drum." 

"Thank you, Ray." She said as she agitated the toy instrument. "I love the butterfly on it! Look, mommy, it's pretty."

"Yes, sweetie, it is."

"Lizzy." He also gave her something.

"What is it? It's beautiful."

"It's a xun. It's a music instrument, created around seven thousands years ago. Some, like this one, are also elegant pieces of art I thought it would look nice on a shelve in the living room."

"You have good taste."

"Oh, yes, yes I do." He whispered with an adoring gaze.

She kissed his cheek. "Thank you, I love it."

 

"So..." He walked and stood behind her. "Now that Agnes is sleeping, how about we go take a long shower until it runs out of hot water?" He put his lips on her neck. She just shook her head. "Lizzy, what is it? Talk to me."

"I had nightmares all week. About Tom. About betrayal, about the violence we inflicted on each other. About that car chase we were in because of him. Why did I think he really changed this time? That he would stop doing things behind my back... Why..." She broke down in tears. "I'm sorry it's impacting our relationship so much, I... I can't keep pushing you away when it comes to intimacy..."

Red put his arms around her and she turned in his loving embrace, to rest her head against him. 

"Breathe with me, Lizzy. It's going to be okay."

They stayed like that, in the middle of the kitchen, until Liz's crying stopped. 

"I'm going to make us some tea, okay?"

She nodded and sat down on the couch, grabbed a tissue to blow her nose. The TV was on, so she caught some of the news.

"There you go." He said as he handed her a steaming mug, their fingers slightly touching. 

"Thanks."

"You've been through so much, Lizzy. Some people wouldn't be able to be where you are today. But you are stronger than you know. Spending time with you and Agnes is all I need."

"But you want me... I mean...?"

"Of course, I do. You know I needed some time as well."

"I know you would never treat me the way he did and yet... I'm scared and I don't feel ready for more, yet."

"Take all the time you need. Don't worry about me, all right?"

"Okay. Dates are fine, though." She said, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Noted." Liz was about to kiss him when she giggled suddenly. "What is it?"

"You still have some paint under your chin."

"I'll wash it later. She was so happy about the finger-painting."

"You looked so handsome with all your colorful dots on your face." She laced her fingers with his. "You're the best with her. I can only understand why she wants to call you her daddy."

"Thank you and I understand as well but..."

"Yes, I know, Red. But I thought... Maybe at home, when it's just the three of us..."

"And how could you explain that to her?"

"Just by being honest, telling her it's a secret. We will have to tell her at some point, that our relationship must remain a secret one, right?"

"Yeah." He replied with a sad, pensive look on his face. 

"It will be fine, Red."

"Things will probably get ugly once she will be a teenager."

Liz grimaced. "Oh my God, there is time before that happens! Please, don't talk about it."

"I hope I'll be around when this moment comes."

"You will be. You must be, Red."

Red gently cupped her cheek. "Sharing a bed with the person you love is intimate, Lizzy." She smiled and snuggled against him. "Kissing the person you love is intimate... And I would also say dry humping with you was pretty intimate."

She laughed, and how he loved to see those dimples. "I would say so as well."

 

"Daddy! Draw something on mommy's face!" She exclaimed with a huge grin on her face, clapping her hands happily.

"Now, Lizzy, don't look so afraid." He said as he winked at her. Red put his finger in the yellow paint and placed it on her forehead. He drew a sun. And two hearts on her cheeks. "There, isn't mommy the prettiest, Agnes?"

"She is!"

Liz got her phone and put on the front camera on to look at her face. "Thank you, Red, you did well."

"Why the sun, daddy?"

"Because your mother is the light of my life, and so are you." He stated and playfully brushed the tip of her nose with the yellow point.

"Hey!" 

Agnes pushed him and Red rolled on the rug, feigning to be weak. Liz and Red were laughing as the little girl began to tickle Red. 

"Mommy, help me!"

Liz was happy to oblige and tickled Red's other side. She has never seen him so carefree. And damn, she loved the suits he wore and always will but in those dark blue jeans and simple black undershirt... God, he was so handsome. 

"Gotta go to the bathroom!" Agnes said, running out of the living room.

"Mmm, Lizzy, that was a sneaky attack. You know I will have to retaliate... Are you all right?"

"I love you, Red."

"I love you, too, Lizzy."

She cupped his face and kissed him, he enthusiastically responded to her loving gesture.


	7. Chapter 7

"What about Kenneth?"

"I think I used it too much and if the cops found it after you were arrested... It's not a safe identity anymore. I won't take that risk."

"What about Decker? I mean... with something else than Thomas."

"Well, Thomas middle name is Richard so... we could use that."

"Okay. The daycare center wants a photocopy of a form of ID and then you'll have to complete this form in case there is a problem with Agnes and they can't reach me."

"I'll get a phone set up."

Liz nodded and put her head on Red's shoulder. "She would be so happy if you could pick her up sometimes."

"I will. We could surprise her, pick her up on Friday and maybe go get ice cream or pie?"

She pressed a sweet peck on the corner of his mouth. "She would love it and I would as well." 

"Then I thought we could come back here, change and go out, just the two of us? Dembe agreed to stay with Agnes. I'll give you a new name on the blacklist next week so it will probably be a busy one."

"No need to say all that, of course I'll go on a date with you. Is it going to be overly fancy or just fancy?"

Red chuckled and put his arms around her. "Just fancy, my lady."

 

"Agnes, Red asked you a question, it's impolite not to reply. Answer him." She shook her head and crossed her arms. "Come on, pumpkin..."

"Agnes, I understand, you are upset that I will be gone for a few weeks..."

The little girl got up from her chair and ran to the couch, where she continued to sulk, refusing to look at the two adults sitting at the kitchen table. 

Liz was about to stand up but Red put his hand on hers, squeezing it lightly. "Let her be, for now. I'll talk to her later."

"I'm sorry... I know it's hurting you both."

"Yeah."

When Red entered her bedroom, Agnes turned on her side so he couldn't see her face.

"I know you don't want to talk to me and I'm not going to force you to. I'm sad as well that I have to leave for a longer time than before. I have to work hard this one time so your mother and I can maybe... put together a surprise for you. Sometimes, Agnes, we have to do chores we don't feel enjoy doing but in the end, it will be worth it. And I know this time, it will be worth it even more. I will miss you immensely. Good night, Agnes."

Liz waited for him against the door frame, she took his hand and closed the door behind them.

"I hope she'll understand."

"We are already asking her much more than most parents. She has to hide our secret, we can't do things like normal families most of the time... Add to this my absence, it's a lot." He sighed.

 

Later, in bed, Red is lazily sitting, his back against the comfortable headboard with Lizzy between his spread legs, her back resting against his chest. He had his arms around her, holding her hands, caressing her knuckles.

He tenderly pressed his lips to her temple then to her neck, she shifted her head a little, giving him a silent permission to continue. "You can fall asleep, Lizzy."

"No, I'm okay. We have two more hours, right?"

"That's correct." 

"Then cuddles it is."

"Sounds perfect to me." He laid his lips on her neck once more before speaking again. "Those weeks far away from you will be draining."

"Yes. It's getting harder and harder to let you go."

"I know what you are thinking, Lizzy and I can't make that promise. I can't stop like that."

"I'm not asking you."

"I know, but you probably will someday and I won't blame you for it."

"I won't. Can we talk about something else? Where are you heading first?"

"Europe. Then Indonesia. Lizzy, I would never be angry at you if you choose to leave this relationship."

"I know, Red. I don't want to talk about this, please stop. I'm with you and it will not change."

"Yes, but..."

She turned in his embrace, grabbed his face and kissed him hard, whispering against his lips. "Shut up, Red."

 

"It's easier in your world. Faster and more efficient..."

"It's dangerous and illegal, too."

"Yeah..." 

"Are you having... dark impulses?" She didn't answer. "Lizzy?"

"Yes. For quite some time now. I was ready to kill him, I wanted it so badly, but Ressler and Samar came in... I couldn't snap out of it right away but I don't think they've noticed."

"Why don't you try to see a therapist, other than the one that got you back into the task force... Since you told me she was giving you strange vibes."

"I don't know, Red. How would I explain my rather unconventional story?"

"You will have to carefully navigate through the things you can divulge and those you can not. I think it's worth a try."

"Maybe you're right..."

"I often am."

Liz chuckled. "There's that ego of yours."

"Well, I said often, not always. I want you to feel better, my love."

"I know. I'm happy with you, with Agnes. She knows, Red. When I'm having those... episodes, she knows. I feel like a bad mother sometimes."

"You aren't, Lizzy. Agnes is a bright, sensitive, healthy, caring girl. And many parents make mistakes, especially with their first child."

"Like wanting to give her up for adoption? Like letting her getting kidnapped by Kirk?"

"She's with you and safe now."

Liz sighed. "Yeah... She loves you so much, so impatient to see you again. I am as well."

"Same here. I want to hold you both in my arms. I miss sleeping with you terribly. I need to see your eyes. I want to feel your warmth, your touch, your kiss..."

"Me too. God, I need you back here with us."

"Less than a week now."

"Mommy?" 

Liz turned her head to see a sleepy Agnes walking into the living room. "Are you okay, baby?"

"Huh huh, are you talking with daddy?"

"Yes, I am."

"Can I speak to him, too, please?"

"Red?"

"I still have a few minutes before getting out of the car."

"Okay, but you go back to sleep right after, all right?"

The little girl climbed on her mother's lap, cuddling with her. "Yes, mommy." She then grabbed the phone. "Hi, daddy."

"Hello, darling girl. I apologize, we didn't want to disturb your sleep."

"It's okay. I made a drawing for you today."

"I can't wait to see it, Agnes."

"We were going to the swimming pool but mommy was feeling bad, but not like when I fell and my knee bled, more like sad or like when I have a nightmare and I get scared... So we stayed home, but it was a good day. I think mommy misses you a lot. And I miss you, too."

"I miss both of you. And your mother will get better."

Agnes kissed her mother's cheek before speaking again. "I love my mommy! And she caught a bad man with Samar and Donald."

"I know you love her and she loves you, too. And yes, she's fantastic at her job."

"I'm tired..."

"You should go back to sleep now. Have a peaceful night and some lovely dreams."

"Thank you, daddy, you too."

"Red?"

"Yes, Lizzy?"

"Be safe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are still reading this little story, thank you! Thank you for the kudos, too.  
> 


	8. Chapter 8

"Red?" He turned around on the stool. "Are you all right?"

"I can't sleep." He said, his head hung low.

"Is it because they hunt you? The people you... recently had to kill."

"Yes. They will for some time. I didn't want to disturb you by turning and tossing."

She stepped closer, standing between his spread legs. She put her arms around his neck. "Is there something I could do?" She eyed the bottle of Scotch, which was clearly emptier than last time she looked at it.

He noticed. "I'm not drunk." 

"I know. Red... I'm not judging."

"You should go back to bed."

"Why don't we both go?"

"I can't."

"Talk to me, then."

"The only person I told about the killings was... Kate."

"I know. I'm here for you, Red."

He got up suddenly, grabbing her by the waist and gently but firmly pushing her to the nearest wall, pressing his body against hers. 

"I'm not really myself now, Elizabeth."

"Do I need to reach for a pen? Red, I'm not afraid of you. Don't shut me out and don't try those tactics on me. You know my dark side as well."

She put her hand on the back of his head and put her mouth on his for a deep kiss. She felt his growing erection. She began to stroke him slowly.

"You don't have to, Lizzy." He murmured against her lips.

"I want to. Kiss me."

 

Liz slowly opened her eyes and saw him looking down at her.

"Hello, Lizzy."

"Hi." She whispered, she cleared her throat. "Did you get any sleep?"

"I nodded off for half an hour, more or less. Better than nothing. Thanks to you. My behavior last night..."

She pressed her lips to a spot under his jaw. "It's all right, Red."

"Thank you."

She stretched her body and grabbed her phone. "I have to go wake up Agnes. Are you coming at the Post Office or...?"

"I will. I need Aram to show the team some files which are on a hard drive. I have a meeting first, in New York. So probably early in the afternoon."

He sat up and picked up a clean undershirt and boxer from his bag. "I'm going to shower first, if you don't mind."

"Sure, no problem. Do you want to eat something?"

He shook his head. "Just coffee."

He joined them fifteen minutes later, dressed in his three pieces suit. "Daddy! Good morning."  
He offered her a tired smile. "Good morning, Agnes." He kissed the top of her head before sitting down.

"Here." Liz said as she handed him a steaming mug.

"Thank you." 

"Are you going to work with mommy today?"

"Yes. For a few hours at least."

"People from the circus are coming to perform and maybe teach us some stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Things. Can you juggle, daddy?"

He took a sip of his black coffee. "I don't think I can."

"What about you, mommy?"

"No."

"What about... my father?"

"Yes, he knew how to juggle."

"What did he do? Did he work with you, too?"

"No. He was a..." She rubbed the scar on her wrist. "A teacher."

"Okay. I'm going to wash my hands and brush my teeth."

"Call me if you need anything, baby."

"Yes, mommy."

Liz turned around and loudly hit the counter with both her fists. Red immediately got to her, placing his hands on her waist, his mouth near her ear.

"Shh, Lizzy. It's okay to have given her this answer."

"It isn't. He was a liar, a criminal, a killer."

"She's too young for this truth now, maybe one day you'll tell her but, Lizzy, for now, it's okay. Don't forget that I am a criminal and she'll know it as well."

"It's not the same. You are nothing like him."

"That's true. And you can't imagine how profoundly glad I am that you can see it now. But a criminal, still." He pressed his lips on her temple and felt her relax a little. 

 

"Come on, Red!" He shook his head, chuckling. "You would do anything for me, right?"

"Now, you're not playing fair, Lizzy."

"Just once, please." She pouted at him and knew he would give in.

"Any preference on the word?"

"No, you choose."

"Damn it."

"Huh huh, I'm not accepting this, it's not swearing."

"Aren't you difficult to satisfy? I say it when I'm feeling angry or upset."

"You can do better than that."

"Fuck it. Fuck this fucking shit." She made a clapping gesture, mindful to her sleeping daughter. "Happy?"

"Yes, I mean I would love to hear more... Something naughty."

"I don't need to swear to say something naughty and arousing."

"Don't I know it..."

 

"You'll need your tuxedo, Dembe."

"All right. Goodnight, Raymond. Elizabeth."

"Thank you, Dembe, you too."

Liz made sure that the door is well locked before turning around and looking at him. "A tuxedo? So you're going to a party?"

"I am."

"What kind of party?" She asked as she stood in front of him, who is sitting on the sofa.

He noticed the change in her tone, still jealous. "I need to meet with someone, a source."

"Where?"

"Miami."

"And this someone is a man or a woman?"

"A woman. Lizzy..."

"Are you planning on seducing her?"

"A little charming won't hurt but Lizzy, there is only you. Always."

"I don't want her hands all over you or her breath on your face."

He got up and put one of his hands on her waist, the other cupped her face. "You trust me, it's just a dance or two. It's important, I wouldn't do it if it wasn't."

"I hate it."

He pressed his lips on her forehead, before planting his gaze on hers. "I know you do. I am yours, Lizzy."

She kisses his cheek, his neck then his lips. "I want you to come home right after you get what you need."

"Done."

 

He did as she asked and flew home before the party ended. Agnes ran into his arms as soon as he closed the door behind him. 

"Daddy!" 

"Hello, angel."

"Why are you wearing this?" She asked, toying with his bow tie.

"I was at a party where you need to dress up like this. Shouldn't you be in bed, Agnes?"

"I... I wanted to wait for you."

"You're adorable." He pressed a gentle peck on her cheek before putting her down. He noticed Lizzy, who was wearing one of his t-shirts, getting up and lovingly engulfed her in his arm. "Good evening, my Love."

"Hey."

He knew she could smell another feminine perfume on his clothes and felt her tense. "Join me in the shower once Agnes is in bed?"

"Yes, go ahead."

"Goodnight, Agnes. Sweet dreams."

"You too, Daddy."

Ten minutes later, Liz entered the bathroom and found him leaning against the sink, patiently waiting for her.

"You look tired, Red."

"I am." He whispered in her ear. "Undress me?"

"Yeah..." She carefully helped him out of his tux, that was when a bright red stain on the left side of his shirt collar got her attention. "Bitch..."

"She tried to kiss my neck. I stopped her."

"I hope you got the information you needed."

"I did. And she wasn't happy that she didn't get a second dance and more with me."

"I don't give a damn about her." She hissed.

She got out of her clothes and stepped under the hot water, grabbing his hand and kissing him hard on the mouth. He responded eagerly to her.

"God, Red, what's wrong with me? I don't know her and I want to put my hands around her throat for touching you."

"Shh, try to focus on the moment, focus on us. Lizzy?"

"Hold me tighter."

"All right." He pressed his mouth on her neck and gently licked and nipped her there. 

She possessively locked her arms around his neck. "Mine."

"Yes, Lizzy, I'm yours. You are my everything."

She eventually calmed down after a few minutes. 

Once in their bed, he doesn't let go of her. His hands touched her body with adoration. 

"I'm keeping you awake, Red, I'm sor..."

"Don't worry about that." She resumed her caress across his chest and lower belly. "I love how you touch me, Lizzy."

"And I love how you touch me. What I feel for you... My God, it's indescribable. I’ve never felt that before."

“Me neither, Lizzy.” 

“Could we ask Dembe to keep Agnes tomorrow evening?”

“We could.”

“Good. I want to make love.”

“Lizzy, I told you, there’s no rush...”

“I know. But I’m ready. I want more.” 

“Do I need to get some condoms?”

“No, I’m on the pill again.”

“Are you sure you don’t want another kind of protection?”

“No.”

“All right.”

“Just a quiet night in if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. Do you want me to cook?”

“If you’d like.”

“I do.”

She nodded before closing her eyes. “Goodnight, Red.”

“Goodnight, Lizzy.”


	9. Chapter 9

"Have a good evening with uncle Dembe, Elle and Isabella, pumpkin.” Liz kissed her daughter’s cheek.

“Thank you, mommy. Have fun with Daddy!”

“Thank you, and thanks to you as well, Dembe.”

“Don’t mention it.” He said with a smile.

“Bye, Daddy!”

“Bye, Angel.”

“Should we open the bottle of wi...”

Liz pressed her lips to his for a passionate kiss, they walked toward the bedroom. 

“I want you so bad, Red...” She breathed between heated kisses.

“And I, you, Lizzy.”

He grabbed the hem of her t-shirt, she quickly lifted her arms, he then unclasped her bra. Soon, there was a small pile of clothing on the floor. 

“Do you... Would mind if I...” She was out of breath, and clearly a bit anxious.

“Lizzy... I know you're having some... apprehension.”

“I trust you with my life, Red.” She declared.

“It's all right to be nervous. I am as well.” He lovingly caressed her hair. “Rushing it is not an adequate plan. Even if, and apologize in advance for that, I will not last more than a few minutes...” He kissed her palm and scar. “But there will be plenty of time after our first time. Now, take a deep breath and tell me what you wanted to ask.”

She did as he said. “Would you mind me being on top?”

“Not at all. I'm very open when it comes to sex, never be afraid to communicate with me about this, it's essential, all right?”

“Okay.”

“Good. Now...” He looked in his bag and picked up a bottle of lubricant.

“Red, you make me... wet, more than enough.”

“Thank you. But I think for this time, we should use some.”

She shouldn't be surprised about how much he cared for her intimate well-being. She smiled affectionately and grabbed the bottle. “Get on the bed, Red.”

She straddled him, and they kissed for a moment. She rubbed her folds against his erection. He let out one of the sexiest sounds she has ever heard. 

“God, Lizzy...” 

He put his hand between her breasts, her heart was beating as fast and hard as his. His other hand traveled on her stomach to then reach her clitoris. He gently stroked it a few times with his thumb. She moaned, arched her back and put her hands on his broad chest. Red thought he knew how it would feel to finally touch her like that, but he was even more moved and aroused that he thought possible. He wanted to make her come right now. So he kept on rubbing her, trying different pressure, moved his thumb around to see what make her feel more sensations. 

“Just like that, Red... Don't stop!”

She looked exquisite on the verge of climaxing. Seconds later, she cried out and collapsed on his chest. He kissed her head several times as she caught her breath. He felt her licking and sucking on his neck. 

“Wait till you see what I can do with my tongue.”

She laughed. “I can't wait. But first...” 

She grabbed the bottle of lubricant and coated his erection with the translucid liquid. 

“Ready?”

“Yes, Lizzy.”

She felt his hot and wet tip against her entrance and let it slowly slide inside her. Red wasn't small, he wasn't overwhelming big and long either, but much thicker than average. He titled his head, catching her reactions. 

He put his hand on her hip, lovingly caressing her skin. “Take your time...” She nodded and went up and down on the head of his erection. The pleasure he felt was so intense. He swallowed hard. “You feel... fantastic...”

She took more of him gradually until he was completely inside her. They both moan and neither of them moved for a moment. They didn't exchange a word either, their eyes were doing all the talking. They were overwhelmed in the best way possible. As he predicted, he didn't last long, but they were both truly satisfied and feeling Red coming inside her for the first time felt just like a second orgasm to her. He was the love of her life. 

 

“Thank you, Red.”

“For what?”

“Oh, God, so many things… But right now for this, for being a real gentleman. For waiting, yes, I know, it didn’t feel like that to you but… Thank you.”

He pressed his lips on her sweaty temple. “You were sublime. You felt magnificent.”

“You made me feel incredible…”

“Mmm, I’m glad.”

“Do you mind if we get up to eat? I’m starving.”

“I don’t and I’m famished as well. But first, a shower sounds good to me.”

“Same here!”

 

Liz saw the news on her smartphone, a severe earthquake in Indonesia, one of the islands where Red was. She immediately tried to call him but no one was picking up.

“Damn it.”

“Mommy, are you okay?”

“I’m trying to call Red, pumpkin.”

“Maybe he’s working.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

An hour later, her phone went off. “Hello?”

“Lizzy.”

“Red! God, are you okay?”

“Dembe and I are getting patched up.”

“How bad is it?”

“Pretty bad. We tried to help some kids, we saved three, they were stuck under the rubbles of their house. I gave CPR to another but he didn’t make it. He was no older than ten years old.”

“I’m sorry.” She heard him hissed in pain. “Red?”

“I think I fractured my left arm.”

“How’s Dembe?”

“He got some deep cuts.”

“Do you think you can come home soon?”

“I don’t know that yet, Lizzy. I’ll try to reach Edward, he’s in Bali.”

“Let me know, please.”

“I will.” 

“There’s a tsunami alert.”

“We heard the sirens. How’s Agnes?”

“She’s eating.”

“And and blissfully unaware of the situation?”

“Yeah. I didn’t turn on the TV in case she asks where you are.”

“Good. Lizzy, I have to go.”

“Why? What’s happening?”

“We must keep moving, I don’t know the state of the roads to the airport.”

“Be careful.”

“Yes.”

He called her back three hours later.

“Lizzy?”

“Yes?” She said with a worried voice.

“We are staying...”

“What?”

“People here need all the help they can get, I know some skilled people here, we are trying to put together a rescue team.”

“I… I understand but I wish you would come home.”

“I will. I'm fine, Lizzy. I need a few more hours, I’ll call you once I’m on the jet, all right?”

 

“How long do you have to keep it?” Liz asked, pointing at the cast.

“Three weeks.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Red shook his head. “I need to get cleaned up. Could you help me?”

“Sure, let’s go.”

 

“Agnes is going to freak out when she’ll see you got injured.”

“Yes, she won’t be happy… But I’ll explain how it happened.”

“I know you will, with the right words. Do you need another pain killer?”

“I’m fine.” He placed a light kiss on her lips. “I just need to lie down with you a moment.”

 

They got on the bed, facing each other, she snuggled against him, relishing in the warmth of his body. He was home, he was safe. 

“I know that if it wasn’t for us, you would have stayed over there… I’m selfishly glad you’re back.”

“Well, I wasn’t really in shape to do much more, anyway. The team over there is very skilled, I have hope that they’ll save lives. And I’m also glad I’m back. I wish I could put my arm around you.”

“Roll on your back then.”

“But then you would put your head on my chest and I couldn’t look at your face, I missed seeing you those past three weeks. I missed you, Lizzy.”

“You’re adorable, you know that?” He was tired, but he still offered her a small smirk. “Of course, you do. I missed you, too.” She lovingly stroked his cheek. “You should try to sleep, close your eyes.”

 

“Agnes, I promise you, it’s not that bad. This, the cast looks impressive, but it’s here to help.”

“Like a big band-aid?”

“Exactly. And there is something you could do to help.”

“Is there?” She wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “Really?”

“Yes. Draw on it.”

Liz smiled at him, he was so good with her daughter. And then she remembered that he was once a father. He never talked about it again since they were stuck with Braxton. 

The little girl eagerly searched for her felt pens. 

“She’s going to cover it all.” Liz said with humor in her voice.

“Oh, I’m sure about that! You should put your mark on it before she comes back.” 

She walked to the couch and bent over and put her lips on his for a quick kiss. “I would rather make my mark somewhere else… on your skin.”

“Mmm, that is an enticing idea...”

Liz sat down next to Red as she heard her little girl running back to the living room. 

“What do you want me to draw?”

“Whatever you may like.”

She took her yellow felt pen and drew a sun.


	10. Chapter 10

“Are you sure that they’re following you or want to trap you?”

“I don’t want to take that risk. Them, knowing your address. I have a big suite… A hot tub as well.”

She smiled. “I’m going to pack a few things, then we'll leave right away.”

“Ask for Mister Lawrence at the reception.”

“Okay.” She hung up and went to her bedroom to get a travel bag, putting a few items she and Agnes would need for the weekend. “Agnes?”

“Yes, mommy?”

“We're going to spend the weekend with Red, but not here.”

“Okay, how many toys can I take?”

“How about three and all the crayons? Sounds good?”

“Yes!”

 

As soon as the door opened, Agnes was already running toward Red. 

“Hello there!” She kissed his cheek after he picked her up in his arms, glad his cast was finally gone.

“Hello, Agnes. How are you? How was your week?”

“I’m good. I was at the theater the other day! There were puppets trying to find a treasure! It was fun.”

He put her down and she wandered around the suite. Red walked to Liz, putting his hands on her hips, she caressed his cheek and he closed his eyes, savoring the intimate contact. 

“I missed you.” He whispered softly.

Liz pressed her lips against his and kissed him lovingly then let her forehead rest against his. “I missed you, too.”

They stayed like this for long minutes, drinking in the other's presence. Liz immediately felt calmer and Red felt lighter. 

Liz knew that no one could ever have this effect on her. No one would ever love her like Red was loving her or see her as he did. 

She felt him tighten his embrace, putting his mouth on her pulse point. She knew why he did this.

“I’m here, Red. I’m with you.” She reassured him. 

They never really talked about her fake death again but she knew what impact it had on him. 

She noticed Dembe who was showing some cards to Agnes. “Were you winning?”

“No.” He murmured in her ear. 

“Daddy?”

They both turned around but kept their arms around the other’s waist. “Yes?”

“I’m hungry.”

“What would you like to eat?”

“What are the choices?”

“Whatever you like. But a real meal, not just candy. And of course, you’ll need mom’s approval.”

“Pizza?”

Liz chuckled but agreed. 

“What about you, my Love?” Red asked. 

“I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

“All right. Dembe, would you like to stay with us?”

“Yes, Raymond.” 

“Would you mind keeping an eye on Agnes for about half an hour…?”

“I don’t mind at all. Take your time.”

Red put his hand on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Thanks, Dembe.”

“You’re welcome, Elizabeth.”

They went to the bathroom and undressed while the water was filling the hot tub. His eyes caught the nasty bruise on her right side right away.

She noticed. “You should see the other guy.” She announced lightly. 

“Who was it?”

“Frank, the blacklister’s bodyguard. He is in custody. He took my knee in his balls and stomach." 

He went on one knee and delicately kissed her skin around the bruise. She caressed his hair. “You’re so sweet...”

He looked up at her and kept his lips on her body, he slowly made his way up and stepped into the tub, holding her hand. 

They were comfortably installed next to each other, still holding hands.

“Oh, this is nice.” Liz said as she felt the warm water soothing her aching muscles. 

She closed her eyes for a minute or two then she slipped her hand away from him and began to slowly stroke him.

He moaned, knowing the noise of the bubbling water plus the thick walls and doors would cover it. He cupped her cheek and took her lips with passion. She eagerly responded, deepening their kiss. Liz straddled him in a swift movement, he sat up and let his hands explore her body. He felt the tip of his erection pressing against her entrance.

“Lizzy… Are you sure that you’re ready?”

“Red, it’s been a long week without being with you, I’ve been ready since I stepped into this suite.” 

He trusted into her in one motion, making her moan in delight. She made circular movements and contracted her inner muscles, making him growl. 

“Do you like that, Red?” She put her hands on his chest.

“Oh, I do, Lizzy..” He cupped her breast, his thumbs toying with her hard nipples.

“Suck them...”

“With pleasure.”

He bent his head and did as she told. She arched her back giving him better access. One of his hand disappeared under the water, his thumb rubbing her clitoris. “Oh, Red, yes, just like that...” 

They both came after some exquisite minutes of passionate lovemaking.

“Mmm, you’re very good at multitasking, Red. I’ve never felt so many sensations before. I love it.”

“Glad you do.” He mumbled as he was still tenderly kissing her neck.

“We should get out...” 

“I know, I just… May I wash your hair?”

She was surprised by the request but also enjoyed the idea. “Yes.”

They went to the walk-in shower and he made sure her hair was wet enough before putting shampoo on his hands and massaged her scalp and the rest of her hair with care.

“I’ve never been with a man as gentle, romantic and loving as you are.”

He gave her a sweet kiss as a silent answer and they got into comfier clothes.

When they walked to the living room area, their meals were on the table. 

“Ah! I do love perfect timing. Agnes, Dembe, Lizzy, bon appétit.”

 

“Sweetie, it’s all right, we’re not far. And uncle Dembe is in the room next to you.”

“But I’m scared, mommy.” The little girl pouted. 

“Agnes, come here, we’re going to check the closet and under the bed.” Red held out his hand.

She took it and they walked around the room. “Did you see anything?”

“No.”

“I know it’s not your room but you’re safe here.” He kissed her forehead while Liz rubbed her back.

“Red is right, sweetie.”

“Leave the door open?”

“We can do that.”

Agnes got under the sheets and kissed Liz and Red goodnight. 

 

“I apologize.” Red said as he watched Liz taking off her pants.

“For what? Because Agnes is scared?”

“Yes. It must be stressful to change her habits like that.”

“It will not happen all the time, plus you were great with her. She felt more at ease once you checked her room. You are a good father.”

She noticed the sadness in his eyes. “I wasn’t… I was reckless. And they died because of me.”

Liz walked to him and put his arms around him. “I’m so sorry.” 

He held her tight. “You are everything to me, Lizzy. And so is Agnes. I’m terrified of losing you both.”

“You won’t. We’re good. You make us happy, Red.”

“I so badly wish I could offer you a normal life.” 

“We can’t change that, Red. But we’re making it work.”

“I wish I could marry you.”

She looked into his beautiful eyes and cupped his cheek. “You can. Not legally but still.”

“I can’t wear a ring.”

“There are other things we could do.”

He was once again lost in his thoughts so she pressed her lips against his, moving them gently. It took him a few seconds to respond. She tugged at his shirt, lifting it up. He raised his arms so she could take it off. 

She kneeled in front of him and yanked down his black boxer and took his member into her hot mouth, sucking him hard and nice. Her hands traveled back and forth on his ass to his thighs.

“God, Lizzy...” He said breathlessly. “I need to… sit down. If you... don’t mind.”

He loudly sat on the bed, spreading his legs and putting a hand on her hair. It was the first time she did this to him.

“Lizzy… Lizzy...”

She looked at him and their gazes locked. He was thick, but she made it work perfectly. She was at ease and it felt like never before to him, in the best way possible.

“You can come, Red.”

“What... about... you?”

“Later.”

 

When Red opened his eyes, he first saw Liz looking at her smartphone. 

“Did I sleep for long?”

“An hour or so.” 

He put his arm around her waist under the sheets and kissed her neck. “You were that good, my Love, It felt... like I've never been pleasured this way before.”

“I'm glad you enjoyed it.”

“Will I have the pleasure and honor of doing the same to you?”

“Oh, yeah, you will.”

They heard a knock on their bedroom's door. Red got up and put on his pants.

“Yes, Dembe?”

“The team has intercepted Yevgen. They are waiting for your instructions.”

“Get the car around, I'm going to get ready.”

“You're leaving?”

“I am.”

He put on his shirt, she observed him a moment and sat up on the bed. “Are you going to... take care of him?”

“Yes. I had to be away from you, Agnes and our last case because of him. This little game of his is over.”

Liz left the bed, grabbed his belt and holster. She passed it through the loops of his pant. Next, she inspected his gun. 

“You know I keep it extremely clean.”

“Just checking. Are you keeping that guy far from here?”

“About twenty-five minutes by car. I'll be back as quickly as possible."


	11. Chapter 11

She heard Red wishing a good night to Dembe and then the door of their hotel bedroom opened slowly. He closed the door and took off his suit. 

“Hey.” She whispered, moving to the end of the bed, gently grabbing his hand. 

“Hey.”

He didn't move. “Talk to me, Red. You know you can tell me anything.”

“I want to hold you in my arms, I want to go down on you. But I just killed a man and I don't want to make you feel... dirty.”

“You won't. I'm aware of what you have to do sometimes.. Come on, I want you to get that gorgeous head of yours between my legs...” 

He turned his head to look at her. Liz moved back, took off her panties and tank top. She then spread her legs while keeping her eyes on him. 

“God, Lizzy...”

“You have nothing to worry about. I love you, Red. No matter what.”

Getting lost in her was all he wanted, even more so at that precise moment. Shutting off the outside world. And she was giving him permission to do so. 

“Take off the rest of your clothes, get on the bed and touch me.”

He followed her instructions, in awe of her. All of her. Her marvelous naked body, her voice, her mind... Everything. He sat between her legs, caressing her inner thighs. She put her hand on his neck and pressed her lips to his. 

She stroked his short hair at the nape of his neck. “Are you with me now?” 

“Yes.”

She realized he was waiting for her to speak again. “That's good. Now, please, keep touching me.”

He put his lips on her neck then his mouth traveled on her breasts, her navel, her thighs. He finally let the tip of his tongue glide over her most intimate parts of her body. She moaned and arched her back. He took his time to find what she enjoyed the most. He used his hands to caress her skin wherever he could reach it. 

She put her hand on her mouth before coming, the waves of pleasure washing over her like never before. She kept feeling his tongue and lips all over her body, until he was completely on top of her, kissing her cheeks and neck. 

“That was perfect, Red.”

“Thank you for what you said, what you did. Taking control. You can't imagine how much it helped.”

“You are always in control, always two steps ahead. I thought maybe that was what you needed.”

“That's my girl, top of her class profiler. I would love to do that again.”

“Then we will.”

 

Liz felt his soft lips on her brow, on her cheek a moment later, then on her neck. She smiled with her eyes still closed. She put her arm around his waist and snuggled closer against his warm body. She loved his body, his smell, his damaged heart. She caressed his lower back, feeling the angry burn scars. He didn't flinch anymore. She squeezed his butt cheek.

“Oh, now I know you are fully awake, Lizzy.” He teasingly bit her earlobe.

She giggled and opened her eyes to look at his beautiful face. “Good morning, Red.”

“Good morning.” He turned on the small lamp on his bedside table and lifted the sheets, then her tank top. “That nasty bruise should be gone very soon.”

She caressed his chest hair. “Do you have to go out today?”

“Yes. But only this morning, I'll be back to spend the afternoon and evening with you and Agnes.”

“And are we staying here tonight or...?”

“We can go back to your place. I must pick up a few things at my apartment first.”

“All right. And tomorrow?”

“Nothing planned. Is there something you would like to do?”

“Agnes saw Coney Island on the TV the other day and she would love to go.”

“Then we should surprise her, we can spend the day over there.”

“You sure it doesn't bother you?”

“Not at all.”


End file.
